The Wonders Of The Sacred Special Sauce

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After a long joyous night on ‘the poison’ (What’s yours? Tweet us @liverpoolkebab), one is often predisposed to visiting the local takeaway establishment for some sufficing of kebab needs. That is to say one must fill that kebab shaped hole created by alcohol.

So. It’s a Doner. Standard, watch them scrape it off the almighty mince lump slowly rotating like some rare shrine to an Aztec god on show in the British Museum. Except in this instance it’s made out of delicious yet excitingly unknown meat. Now comes the choice (the lack of punctuation is intentional, that is how kebab guys articulate);

Kebab guy: would you like any sauce.

You: Well! Oh yes please!

Kebab guy: What would you like.

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This Boy Loves His Special Sauce

Now. The moment of indecision, what does one do? You are presented with so much! Do you get him to list them? So it goes; tomato, mayo, garlic mayo, BBQ…and then…special sauce. Special sauce. Oh the joys! How it complements the unknowingness of the meat with a completely unknown sauce. It’s a mixture of all sorts of bits and bobs, definitely several of the key ingredients are illegal in some countries, but that’s what makes it all taste so good! The blend of such an indeterminable nourishing moistness counteracts the power of raw kebab meat and any dryness that may arise. It’s a cheeky option for one to take, showing an adventurous personality and a bit of eroticism.

The kebab advocates special sauce. Do you?

Words by Alexander Ferguson

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The Kebab on: Hot ‘n’ Tender

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As lifelong lovers of kebabs, fried chicken and pizzas, we have, over our many years, become well acquainted with a plethora of fast food chains, both big and small. But none, in our humble opinion, compare to the likes of Hot ‘n’ Tender on Smithdown Road. With a vast menu, brimming with exciting and exotic cuisine from around the globe, it’s the perfect place to kick back and relax after a night on the town! Here at The Kebab, we spend most of our time at this fine establishment and have forged lifelong friendships and bonds with its wonderful staff. We’ve had laughs in there, we’ve been propositioned in there and some of us have even exchanged our BBM pins for chips, cheese and chicken wings. What a glorious, hot and tender place! We hold no reservations in recommending Hot ‘n’ Tender to anyone who knows how to have a good time with a kebab!

Score: 9/10

Words by Elliot Ramsey